In response to the above, the ONLY reason I knelt down during the aforesaid occasion was to remove some of the organic goji berries that I had accidentally stepped on with my bare, naked feet. There is no suggestion, and I am insulted by the implication, that I was bending down to do anything other than that. Take it from me, if you continue to spread this foul gossip, rumour monger and generally be a purveyor of scurrilous tittle-tattle, I shall have nothing option but to recourse to consulting my lawyers. Let us see you in court making these accusations. Yours, Gillian.
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